Accessibility and Gatekeeping

These are two words I've been thinking a lot about lately. A friend who attended my January zoom event, "The Power of Intention," shared with us that she was choosing a word as her theme for 2022, rather than setting goals or specific intentions, and I loved that. Since that night, I've been thinking over what my word would be and these two keep coming up. They might seem strange, or different, then what you'd expect, which is why I want to explain them a little bit.

I have to begin by admitting I've been frustrated with the "spiritual community" and myself honestly, in relation to my coaching business. Burn-out is one way to look at it, but another (probably more accurate way in this case) is where something you once found sacred has become commericialized and therefore ruined. I bet many people feel this way with bands or artists that they loved, "before they got famous." The industry made them not what they once were to you: it happens. "New age spirituality" has kind of got that ~ick~ to it these days, no? If I'm being honest, the past two years were filled with intentions to "grow my business" and "create more courses, content, and other bullshit, to sell to people and grow my income." And it hasn't necessarily worked how I wanted it to, and it hasn't been fulfilling to try. It seems I'm just an anti-capitalist at heart, no matter how much financial ~a b u n d a n c e~ might seem appealing to me. Exclusivity, over-consumption, and grotesque wealth are in the heart of many "spiritual communities," and leaders, unfortunately. The internet is innundated with images of filtered, conventionally beautiful people, spouting off trending influencer reel audios while pushing their program, products, and platforms.

"Look at this beautiful dream life and all the things and vacations I've manifested!!! Let me show you how you can do it to!!" Yuck.

And I'm one of them; I cringe at it. Because of that, I had to get really real with myself and decide, "Wtf am I doing here? Growing an instagram page, or growing a community? Building an empire, or building a sisterhood? Do I need to make a lot of money for my work to be deemed worthy?" And I've decided the answer to that last one is no. I want to build community, specifically sisterhood, and hold space for women to feel their feelings, and to feel the genuine support of other humans. That is what my work is: and I want to be accessible. "Accessibility" and "inclusivity" are maybe buzzwords in some circles, and I think they're good ones, so they were floating around a lot for me when thinking about my offerings and a potential "theme word" for 2022.

As I was doing all this thinking and ruminating, the word "gatekeeper" or "gatekeeping" came up a lot as well. The idea of gatekeeping information from the population at large because you want them to pay you for it, is fucking annoying. And I've subconsciously done it.

Like, "Well I can't make an IG post with all that info in it because that's what people should be paying me for, as their coach." Stupid.

Why is anyone going to choose you as a piece of their support system, or their teacher, if they don't already know how much value you bring, and knowledge you store? I realized I'd been gatekeeping things like guided mediations, journal prompts, and even theories or thoughts, because there was an underlying belief that I should be paid for those things. But money is not the reason I do this work. I do it because I want people to feel better. I want the population at large to grow and evolve and awaken. If I dream of capitalist bullshit structures falling to the ground, to open space for a more harmonious existence with humans and nature, then I can't play into the capitalism of only sharing my healing work as a means of monetary exchange. It just doesn't align. And alignment is everything.

So, here we are, at the end of January, and I'm just now coming to concise thoughts about what and why I want my 2022 to look like. If you haven't gotten there yet, with setting intentions or goals, that's okay. If you started some resolutions and already "failed" that's ok too. The "New Year" (astrologically speaking), isn't actually until Aries Season, or the spring equinox, which begins March 20th. Think about it: why are we "turning over new leaves" in the dead of winter? This year especially the new year was ridden with illness; serious or minor. It seemed like everyone got a little bug at the very least. You're not lazy, weak, or *insert self-depricating word you often call yourself here* because you haven't been fully committed. You have time to become who you want to be. So get clear about who that is.

For me, who this is, is: an honest, accessible, spiritual leader and writer, who doesn't gatekeep information that may be helpful to the world at large (even if that's through the tiny ripple of one person's one changed life). And the way for me to be that person is: getting to offer community and healing via space holding for anyone who wants it, at a donation price (aka freeeeee if need beeeee :). The next donation event will be February 3rd and 4th at 7 p.m. central both nights (I'm offering Thursday and Friday, so come to whichever night is better for you, or both if you want). I'll be writing another blog with more info on the topic, but for now note this: sacred sexuality. Mark your calendars. Here's the zoom link:

https://us04web.zoom.us/j/9690185022?pwd=bWtuclBMM2VEcVZqY1psejhKNExXQT09

Your growth and peace are within reach